Victorian Etiquette

In the Victorian era there were etiquette laws that dictated a person's actions in every imaginable situation. The laws were unwritten, but understood by the upper social class. Following these social rules would put a person in good social standing with their peers and give them an excellent reputation in Victorian society. Below are a few points of etiquette that were popular during the Victorian era.

For the lady:

• A Victorian lady was not allowed to wear pearls or diamonds in the morning as they were considered evening wear. Victorian women changed their outfits numerous times during the day for all their various social engagements.

• If unmarried and under 30, a lady was not allowed to walk alone without a chaperone except for early
morning walks in the park.

• A lady never danced more than three times with the same partner. At some balls, each of the ladies had a card with all of the dances listed on it. In asking for a particular dance from a lady, the gentleman would write his name next to the dance so they would remember which one he was promised.

• A lady would not call on a gentleman unless she was consulting him on a business or professional matter.

For the gentleman:

• Men always went ahead of the lady when going up stairs. When going down the stairs, he would follow her.

• In a carriage, the gentleman took the seat facing backward. A gentleman was not allowed to sit next to a lady unless he was her husband, brother, father or son.

• A gentleman never smoked in the presence of ladies.

• The gentleman was always introduced to the lady. It was the gentleman’s honor to meet her — not the other way around.